The Sweetest Gift

Yesterday marked my 29th year of life, and for this life I am deeply thankful. The gifts of God in my life are innumerable and immeasurable. The sweetest gift He has given me this year is the understanding of my desperate need for Him in every.single.moment. In a year (mostly) defined by waiting - for the blessing of another child - He has given much more than that; for He knows my heart can only be truly satisfied by Himself - and Himself saw to it that this lesson be learned.

Susannah Spurgeon, wife of Charles Spurgeon, said it this way, "Not Thy gifts, nor Thy grace, nor even Thy glory, could satisfy the desire of a soul which Thou hast made to long for Thyself. Thou, the Giver of all other precious things, art Thyself the choicest, the "unspeakable" gift! Lord, into the thirst of my empty heart pour the full stream of Thy living love! Give me Thyself, or I die!"*

This year God has also given me the gift of waiting. A gift, truly, though in raw moments I was more apt to count it a curse. This blog post by Paul Tripp gave me courage in my waiting, especially these words: "Waiting is one of God's most powerful tools of grace. It's important to realize in your ministry that God doesn't just give us grace for the wait. The wait itself is a gift of grace. You see, waiting is not only about what you will receive at the end of the wait. Waiting is about what you will become as you wait." God has given me the gift of heart transformation in our wait.

Finally, a gracious and merciful Creator has given the gifts of healing and LIFE. Today, as though a belated birthday blessing, my eager ears heard the fluttering of a strong and beautiful beating heart, tucked away within me! Joy unspeakable. The Defender of the fatherless is also the Mender of the broken heart; our adoption plans are on hold for now and this precious one is expected for arrival May 30, 2012. We are taking one day at a time, rejoicing in His perfect plans and entrusting the days and months ahead to His wisdom.

Mrs. Spurgeon said it better than I ever could:

"But Thine hand, precious Savior, can work prompt de­liverance; it takes Thee but an instant to accomplish that which has baffled all our best efforts...Ah! thank God that the joy of uplifting compensates so richly for the sorrow of a season of discouragement...Do not let us dread any sorrow which the Lord may bring upon us; it is only when, by our own sin or willfulness, we fall into grief, that we need fear the consequences; for when our Lord casts us down, or lifts us up, both experiences are blessings,-the one in grim disguise, the other in all the brightness of revealed love and pity...It is the beginning of a glad uplifting when we realize that there is nothing impossible to our God, and that, however low we may be brought, His saving love is more than equal to the task of reaching and restor­ing us."* (Excerpts from A Basket of Summer Fruit: Chapter 10)

"For he wounds, but he binds up; he shatters, but his hands heal." Job 5:18

*For more Susannah Spurgeon (which I would highly recommend you do!) go to this "Dust and Ashes" website; you have to sign up with your email, but then have access to many free and exclusive books, including a few works by Mrs.Spurgeon.